We all get involved with social networking for
different reasons. Some join to make new
friends or to converse with old ones. Some
simply look to cultivate contacts that might benefit them in the future. Maybe they are looking to start a new
business or are open to getting a new job, and they need that channel to grow
those necessary connections. Some
already have a business or product and that social network is simply a way to
find potential clients or customers who might be interested in their
product. For some, they do it for more
than one reason. And there are a select
few who use it to find a potential mate or conduct a tryst. This boggles my mind, but whatever site you
use (Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google+, Pinterest or any other social media
out there), there are certain behaviors that are just not appropriate.
1)
Harrassment. Whatever you do, don’t
harass people. Use your timeline and
Facebook pages wisely. If you are in
discussion groups and you are selling a product, find an appropriate group to
post in. Do a search for a related group
and read the rules to make sure you can post freely. Use common sense. If you are selling sunglasses, don’t post in
groups about books or writing. Do not
tout your unrelated product or service on other people’s posts. There is nothing more infuriating than when
the individual sees you have posted something about a financial institution or bank
loan on a post that has nothing to do with that. If you insist on staying in such groups,
foster discussions by liking and commenting.
If you must mention a product, give it as an example, but please make
sure it is associated with the topic of the group or post.
Also, don’t direct message people
randomly with a plea to buy your product or service. That gets old.
I suppose, if you really have the time, you
can politely ask someone to “like” a page if you’ve liked theirs. But, just keep in mind that it’s not cool to
keep asking, especially if they have already liked your page. Don’t show your desperation. It’s best not to act desperate in any case. Just don’t inundate people with requests via
direct or private message. This is the
equivalent of having an annoying neighbor asking you for something all the
time. If you need page likes, the best
thing is to post your plea in a related discussion group or to find a Facebook
group/event that is specifically designed for gaining likes. They do exist. There is a good “like” exchange on those, and
your numbers will naturally increase.
What other kinds of harassment are
there? Oh, yes. If you’ve joined social media to find a date,
good luck. You have to keep in mind that
most people are not on there for that reason.
If you’re going to seriously date online, don’t you want to make sure it’s
feasible in real life? Be reasonable. Here is an example: if someone lives in Botswana and they pursue
someone in the United States, that is not going to work. Long distance relationships are hard, but by
doing this, you have made it impossible.
Choose someone that lives closer to you.
Also, pay attention to an individual’s status on their profile. If it says “engaged” or “married”, that is
pretty indicative of the fact that they wouldn’t be interested or even open to
flirting/dating anyone online. Leave
these people alone if you’re connected with them for romantic reasons. It is wrong to harass someone you know is
unavailable, especially if he or she has already stated they are taken and not
interested. This is stalking and it’s
not comfortable for the recipient. If you want to date online, there are dating
sites for that.
Just don’t harass at all. According to dictionary.com, harassment is
defined as “the act or instance of harassing, or disturbing, pestering, or
troubling repeatedly; persecution, torment or confusion by persistent attacks
or questions”. The word is also derived
from the Old French word harer, meaning “to set a dog on”. All of these descriptions are negative. Would you want to be dogged by someone?
Especially do not connect with
someone and immediately start hitting on him or her, either dropping blatant
sexual innuendo or by talking about how that person is the love of your life
and you know you’ll be happy together.
Really? That is totally
inappropriate behavior. If you dropped
such hints in real life, you would either get slapped or punched by that
person, or by their significant other.
And if you confessed your undying love for a complete stranger in the
public domain, you’d be viewed as a social pariah. If you’re a man, women would use any excuse
to get away from your blatant approach.
Just don’t harass anyone that way.
Harassment is wrong. Period.
This also includes blatant direct messages, trying to get someone’s
attention. If they don’t respond, they
are probably not online or have stepped away from their computer or phone for
awhile. And that leads into my other
thing about harassment. Never call a
complete stranger via Facebook or Google unless they have given you express
permission to do so. If they wanted to
talk via phone or video chat online, they would tell you that. It is definitely not appropriate to harass
anyone, but especially via social media.
Some of the stuff I’ve seen on social media is amazing, and not in a
good way. Here is one example and it has
happened to me twice. In my Twitter
notifications, someone said, “OMG! Marie
Lavender, what you said was so hilarious!” Of course, this got my attention
because I couldn’t remember what was so funny.
They included a link that my virus software flagged as malicious. Okay, obviously someone hacked into their account
or something or maybe they are a hacker.
Whatever the reason, just don’t do this stuff. Do you want to get blocked or unfollowed?
There are two ways to avoid
becoming a social media pariah. Ask
yourself:
1.
If this was real life, if I was in public, could I get away with any of
this?
The answer is most likely a
resounding “no” because you’d want to avoid a lawsuit or getting punched.
2. How do I want to be treated?
If you want respect, you have to
show respect and that includes not harassing people.
Plus, if you use the basic moral principles
you were taught from childhood and you learn how to be diplomatic in your
conduct, that can help you a lot in life.
Sometimes I think people harass online because they think they can get
away with it. I guess it’s appealing to
do something that is taboo; they like the risk.
But, don’t do it. It will only
leave you wondering where all of your “friends” on social media went.
2)
Do
try to avoid topics that can create problems.
Politics and religion are good ones to avoid. There is always going to be someone who
disagrees with you, and that individual won’t hesitate to start a fight about
it. In any case, especially if you have
to worry about a business reputation, it’s best to avoid hairy topics. This leads me to my next point.
3)
Review
before you post anything. As
an English major, I might have said this specifically for grammatical purposes,
but we can broaden that a little for this article. I’ll say it again. Review before you post anything. You know
that moment when you’re in a heated argument and you said something you didn’t
mean, something you regretted later? No
matter how much you apologize for it, you know you said it and it was
wrong. And that person may never forget
it even if they do forgive you. Well,
social media has a way of biting you long after the fact.
It’s best to seriously evaluate
anything you’ve written, but especially if your reputation or your business’
reputation is on the line. Stop and
think about how smart it is to retort to something someone said. Think about how well a complaint could be
taken. What is it you’re posting about
and how important is it in the scheme of things? Yes, in most cases, you can delete or edit
something, but what if you couldn’t?
Technology is glitchy at times.
What if people did see it even if you removed it later on? Think about your emotions too. Do you really want to post when you’re not as
level-headed as you could be? I’m not
just talking about what you put on your timeline on Facebook, but how you
comment on any kind of social media.
You’re in the public eye now (don’t
pretend otherwise), and it’s your reputation at stake if you lash out and
behave unprofessionally. It’s all on
you. If you need to, find a friend and vent. You are accountable to yourself now. This is real life and there isn’t going to be
a parent or teacher to keep you in line.
If you say something that can drastically affect you, you’re the only
one that will regret it. This leads into
my next point as well.
4)
Tit-for-tat. If someone has said
something negative about you or product online, it may seem very appealing and
easy to seek some kind of revenge on that person. Don’t.
Be smart. Let it pass and don’t
be petty. Sometimes just getting
distance from that person or their comment is the smartest plan.
Also, never expect any kind of
return or reward for what you’ve done.
Just because you’ve done something nice for someone doesn’t mean the
favor will be returned. Continue to do
those nice things for others. That’s
great. It does get noticed. If they didn’t “like” your page, they
probably got distracted with life or maybe Facebook put a hold on how many
pages they could like. Whatever you do,
don’t track that person down and beg for something in return. It only makes you look desperate, and this is
just harassment too. A lot of people don’t
have a ton of time to spend on social media, and you have to respect that. They may only have just enough time to check
their notifications and sign back out.
Don’t expect anything in return, but give when you can. Diversely, know your limits with social media. Don’t commit to something (like an event) you
can’t do.
5)
Observe. If you do use social
media to grow your business, one of the best strategies is to observe others
who appear successful and see what they do.
I am not telling you to copy anyone.
We are all unique, and you will excel by creating your own voice in the
world. But, it doesn’t hurt to see what
works and what doesn’t and to use those tools or tips effectively.
6)
Use
your best judgment at all times. If
your gut is telling you that it’s a bad idea, you probably shouldn’t do
it. We have to get back to listening
to our moral compass, our conscience.
Sure, it’s tempting to let loose and say whatever you want on social
media, but if you’re concerned at all about reputation, you probably shouldn’t. Think about it. You’ll thank yourself for it later.
I know I probably haven’t covered everything
in this article. This is all I can think
of for now. If you know me, you know
that I’ll come up with a “part two” to this if I think of other tips. I can’t stress enough that if you can’t get
away with it in public, why should you get away with it on social media? Overall, just use your head.
Oh, and don’t forget to have fun! Social media shouldn’t be serious all of the
time.
I hope I’ve helped to steer you all
in the right direction. Happy posting!
