Loss Is Difficult

Loss Is Difficult

Grief is a complicated journey. Some people naturally slip into a social environment, and find a type of catharsis in laughter. Others respond by venting their anger at the unfairness of life. And then there are those who require peace and quiet, solace away from the rampant chaos of the world so they can somehow process the loss. 

Today I feel numb. I am a private individual; I often keep a lot of events from my personal life in the safety of my own mind. Now I find I cannot do that.

As it is still fresh in my heart, and heartbreaking in its intensity, I lost someone dear to me early this evening. People who don’t have pets won’t understand the bond that you can form with them, how they become a part of you; they are essentially your family. And when you lose them to something even so natural as old age, which we all must face as human beings, it still strikes you in such a poignant manner that you feel you’ll never be the same. 

Perhaps that’s true. Grief changes us, alters our very shape inside. Plus, each time you lose someone, they take a little piece of you with them. At least, I’d like to believe that. And vice versa. Anyone can touch our lives, even in the smallest way.

With a pet, it’s always hard to say goodbye. But in some ways, it’s much harder to lose them if you’ve had them from birth. You’ve seen them grow from this tiny creature that used to fit in the palm of your hand. You’ve been there through all the changes in his/her life, just as they experienced the ups and downs of your life. Animals have a unique, almost psychic sense; they know when you’re suffering. If you have pets, you know exactly what I mean. For example, even my most independent female cat has reached out to me today. She senses that something has gone wrong in my world, and perhaps in hers too, since he was a part of her life.

I miss him so much right now. It's hard to believe that just a few short hours ago, I was holding him, and now I can't. Even though I’ve cried more tears than I have in a long time, I know it’s for the best. I would rather he wasn’t in pain or experiencing the level of discomfort he had at the end. So, it’s better for him to have reached Rainbow Bridge, as author Debbie De Louise talks about in one of her books. At the same time, I have hope that I’ll see him again, even if his soul is reincarnated in another form sometime in the future.

Still, it hurts. And I know that only time will ease this ache inside.

Please check out this cat interview with host Sneaky the Library Cat, a unique interview which was done with my cat in August of last year, and I believe honors his personality very well.

So…join me tonight and let’s give my Smokey a proper send-off. Wherever you are right now, buddy, I wish you lots of wonderful kitty dreams, toys and as much food as you want. You were the best…boy…ever…and I will miss you for the rest of my life.

Goodnight, buddy. ♥