Emma's Kitty Corner: Elvira from Susan Lynn Solomon's Emlyn Goode Paranormal Cozy Mystery Series!
This is Emma here, your feline host and goddess. Perhaps you've heard of me before? I thought it might be nice to have some new guests on this blog, which I'm, of course, stealing away from my favored human now and then. Today, we have a special, purrfect treat...a cat character who has come to inform us about her author, as well some of the other characters from the book she is featured in. Elvira, take it away!
Hey, all you out there, listen up! Elvira here with a major bone to pick. No, I don’t mean that beef-bone that’d keep your dog occupied for hours. I’m talking about the way some people slight their cats like we’re dumb animals. Take that Susan Lynn Solomon person, for example, always telling people how her BFF Emlyn Goode is sooo smart, solving murders all by herself. Pull-eese! Where would that witch be without me?
Let me tell you, before I moved into her house in Niagara Falls and saved her from a totally boring life, Emlyn was a writer, telling short stories where heroines slay dragons. Like that wuss could ever really run off with a lance and save someone—she’s afraid Jack the Ripper is hiding in her backyard. Then her boyfriend’s partner gets killed, and she just wants to jump into bed and cover her head, because she’s sure the killer’s now coming after her.
Her boyfriend—that’s Roger Frey, a police detective—is something of a hunk…for a human, that is. From the way he carried on about his partner, I knew he’d do something foolish. Like try to get revenge. How ridiculous these humans are. I couldn’t let that happen. The way Emlyn felt about him, if Roger got jailed or killed, she’d go into a funk, and then who’d put food in my bowl? I'd do it myself, but I don’t have thumbs!
So, I did what any cat with a brain would do. I poked Emlyn and prodded her to figure out who did it, and when that didn’t get her out of bed, I practically shoved her ancient relative’s Book of Shadows at her feet (I mentioned she’s a witch—not a very good one, but what can you expect from a human?). Then, when it was finally over, what happened? Emlyn’s friend told everyone about it in a book called The Magic of Murder, and the woman had the gall to make it sound like Emlyn had done it all herself.
Well, I mean… Harrumph!
If that wasn’t enough, the same thing happened a year later when Emlyn got all bent out of shape because her mother was accused of murder. Again, I had to step in, and all but solve a 40-year-old case myself. Did I get the credit of this? Nooo! When the book Dead Again came out, for the second time Susan Lynn Solomon made Emlyn the hero.
Now, just a few weeks later an old friend of Emlyn’s mother showed up in Niagara Falls, told Emlyn a secret, and again she went into a tizzy. And, when the woman gets herself murdered, who had to point all the humans in the right direction? I’ll tell you who. Me! Then, for the third time… The Day the Music Died made it sound like I’m just a roly-poly plaything.
Hiissss! Ms. Solomon, this will stop now! I demand an apology for hiding the real brains behind solving these crimes. If you think your friend Emlyn knows some witchcraft… well, I know a spell that’ll make your hair turn blue and fall out in the most embarrassing places. Don’t believe this? Don’t you know that all cats can cast spells? How else do you think we’ve managed to arrange it so humans feed us and do the work, while we sleep all day?
Exactly. You have it right, Elvira. They would all be useless without us. As I've said before, I'm as good as royalty here and I will rule over the universe one day.
Anyway, thank you for visiting us here at Marie's blog. That's a nice fur coat you have there, and your story was rather entertaining! We hope you'll come back sometime, Elvira.
For the rest of you humans, I'm signing off... meow, meow, meow, et cetera, et cetera.
Ruler of the Universe and Supreme Feline,
Emma A.K.A 'the Munchkin' Mulrooney